Disclosure: I don’t remember who took which picture, except that Christina took most of the food pictures and a ladder took the group photo. Thanks ladder. Thadder.

For all my jokes about tazers and stupid bicyclists, there are serious problems with people out there. Serious, serious problems.

Justin said, foreshadowing.

As we were deplaning at San Jose today, I had just turned into the main cabin aisle when a woman behind me began screaming. I turned around; she was clutching her hand. My first thought was that she had somehow lost her entire hand, Luke Skywalker style. After a millisecond of further processing, it was evident that all the pieces were still there. She was squeezing her hand so tightly that my second thought was that she had broken or dislocated a finger, probably from falling luggage. She was waving her hand around, bouncing up and down, and yelling “ouw!” very loudly. Christina looked appalled; I looked for blood. I was several rows ahead of her at this point, but I could not see much. Already, flight attendants in the front were calling up for paramedics. With nothing to do, I squeezed through the aisle and down the stairs onto the tarmac.

Christina, following a few seconds later, told me what had actually happened: a man, trying to lower his luggage, lost his grip on the bag, which slid out of the overhead compartment, bounced off of Christina’s shoulder and into the woman’s hand, where it snapped one of her nails in half. I don’t want to condemn those who choose to keep long fingernails, but I can’t imagine the injury being nearly as serious if she had shorter nails.

Asparagus Mimosa: A+, despite Albertson’s puzzling refusal to stock shallots. I used fresh tarragon instead of tarragon vinegar, which turned out to be a huge win. The asparagus came out nicely.

Green Bean Casserole: B-, and how I messed up the easiest casserole of all time is embarrassing. The green beans were fresh, and Campbell’s doesn’t differentiate in their recipe. They needed to be steamed first, to prevent them from coming out crunchy. The whole recipe was timed poorly, as too many things demanded the oven.

Roast Whole Cauliflower: B+, and another loss for the home team. I needed to leave it in another 15 minutes, but it was starting to burn at the top. It was nice and juicy on the inside, but it was too crisp in places. The capers did nothing but sit there.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts: A-, or, “I’m getting tired of roasted brussels sprouts.”

Turkey: A. Win all around. It looked sorta over-cooked, but it made a nice juicy sound as I carved it up. Delicious.

Pumpkin Pie: CR. It came out of a box, so who knows.

Yams: W. Yeah, not enough time to steam up the yams.

Overall, I give myself an A- thanks to a generous curve.